Kay Hunter - Imagine . . . The Possibilities

Image & Etiquette Services

Pants or shorts? How to impress during a video conference.

I was talking with a business associate last week and she described the most unfavorable video conference experience during an interview session. The top candidate completely submarined the interview. Not because of what she said but because of how she looked, how her environment looked and her actions. This made me realize how technology is demanding that we continue to hone our high tech etiquette skills.

Statistics show that over 405 million people have a Skype account and conduct video conferences. The technology of video conferencing is changing how we communicate both in business and in our personal lives. We no longer have to plan a trip to have a face to face meeting. We also don't have to fly to Missouri to visit Uncle Harold to see how he is doing. Now, people all over the world simply sit in front of their computer to see and talk to their person of interest. With technology comes another area of etiquette to learn. How do you best prepare for a meeting when the camera will be focused on you?

Tea Hats, Cocktail Hats - how to select the one that fits your style and face.

Charity Tea season is upon us.  As author and professor Grace Margaret Morton put it in 1943, "So when the mood of today's hats seem frivolous it may be a kind of singing in the dark, the expression of an effort to put a bit of gaiety into a world burdened with problems."  I feel this holds true today.

(Hat at left by Louise Green from her Spring 2012 Collections.)

Consider the "total effect" when selecting a hat. Look at yourself close up to make sure the hat is flattering to the face. You may want a bit more brim if you have a bit more width in your face. How does it work with your hair? Do you have a fuller style or something close to your head or pulled back? Bangs or no bangs? You should also look at yourself in a full length mirror, as most people will see your figure standing. You should also keep your body size in mind. A huge hat can overpower a small framed wearer, just as a tiny doll hat might look silly on a queen-sized lady.

Investing in quality shoes? Invest in quality shoe trees.

Your appearance begins at your head and ends at your toes - this includes your shoes. Investing in a couple pairs of good business shoes is only the beginning. You need to also take care of those loafers, boots and heels. After you are finished for the day and are ready to kick off those shoes, the first thing you should do is to insert shoe trees. Not the plastic type, the cedar ones so they absorb perspiration and help your shoes 'cool down' and go back to their original shape. Wait until morning and it's too late. The wrinkles are in and your shoes start to take on that worn look. Don't forget to love them with some shine and moisture. Find the products that are ideal for your shoe or boot.

Some resources include:

Cedarville Store

Woodlore on Zappos.com

Remember, you don't need shoe trees for all of your shoes, you can rotate one or two pairs as you wear shoes. Put them in right away - when you take off your shoes is recommended.

How to Buy the Perfect Pair of Jeans: Men & Women

Buying the right pair of jeans for your needs and body type is not an easy task! Slim, skinny, straight, relaxed, classic, standard - the name of jeans can sure be confusing! For many of us, jeans are the one item most worn in our wardrobe. They are so versatile - they can be worn from around the house, to work, to dining out or on a casual outing. When searching for the perfect pair of jeans, there are a few key tips to remember.

Are you the kind of friend who can give a dose of truth?

Sometimes I wonder where the friends are of the people who need to rethink their appearance. I'm not talking about expensive vs. moderately priced clothing or someone who is struggling with their weight. I'm talking about when you pick up your friend to go out for an evening and the outfit she's chosen is not flattering or conveys the wrong message. Would you tell her?

What if his hair was looking shabby or his cologne is so strong you'll be struggling to make eye contact without tearing up? Would you tell him?

If personal hygiene has taken a backseat lately, or your friend is looking unkempt due to lack of sleep, new medication, new baby, going out too often; would you tell them that you are concerned?

What if your friend was still wearing clothes that looked better when he or she was 20 pounds lighter and there are more flattering choices they could make for social and business occasions? Would you tell them?

Here's the big question:

Do you have friends or colleagues that would be caring enough to tell you the same?

This is not a time for "yes men." You need a true friend to keep you from embarrassing yourself or potentially harming your career. If you can't think of a few off the top of your head, you need to find at least a couple of them FAST. With smartphones, it's easy to call up a friend, and show them what you are considering for that important interview, first date, business meeting or event. You'll get the hang of it after a while. For now, you need someone who will be frank with you for the right reasons. Ideally a spouse or best friend. It might not work out that way.  Your mother or grandmother?

Then, remember how grateful you were to receive their help; and make sure you return the favor.

If you don't have anyone in your corner who is any better at personal style than you, consider hiring a professional to get you started down the right path.  A professional image consultant can help you learn which items are best for your specific coloring, body proportion and personal brand or sytle. They will clean out your closet, evaluate your makeup and accessories even help you refill the closet with a precise selection of items that will always leave you looking your best!

 

 

Spring Fashion Colors - Time to add a spark to your wardrobe

Bold color blocking is one of the big trends this spring. It's a great way to break up what is "expected" and draw attention while showing that you are up on the most current style.  Here are some examples in case you are unclear about the term, "color blocking."

Some of the new colors are more exciting than in recent years - even their names invite celebration:

	Tangerine Tango is a warm neutral. Yes, orange can be a neutral color and strong base.
	Solar Power pairs beautifully with driftwood, cockatoo and tangerine tango.
	Bellflower is a soft purple, but not blue like a periwinkle
	Sodalite Blue brings that denim factor and rich base into any outfit.
	Margarita (regular, not strawberry)
	Sweet Lilac perfect to soften up bellflower or compliment driftwood and margarita.
	Cabaret - a vibrant pink that will get you noticed.
	Cockatoo is a type of aqua.  Most of the cockatoos I've seen are white, but I'm no bird expert.
	Starfish is a sort of warm, taupey brown.  I think of orange when I think of a starfish, but that speaks to my limited visits to the Long Beach Aquarium.
	Driftwood is a gray taupe. Its lovely paired with any of the very vibrant colors.

Dress for the Body You Are In: CAMOUFLAGE TIPS

Feeling a little fluffy after all the holiday treats? Feeling a little fluffy just because after 40 everything relaxes a bit? Sometimes, fighting to lose those last 10 pounds is just not worth the effort. Now, I am not encouraging people to be unhealthy, but I am encouraging us all to take a realistic view of our situation.
 
Nothing brings more attention to your extra pounds than wearingclothes that are too tight. The law of nature naturally draws our eye to where clothing is pulling and swelling.
 
On the other end of the spectrum, some people want to look larger or taller.  Others want to camouflage a short neck or short legs.  Whether you want to camouflage the 5-10 extra pounds, or simply want to make the most of your inherited body shape (which will never change no matter how many diets you endure), knowledge is power!  It doesn't cost any extra money to select the right clothes for your body.  In fact, it costs less. Follow these tips and you will be able to select clothing that will make you look and feel great!

You may not be the beauty contest winner, but at least you are honest.

by Janae St. John

Misrepresentation is a contract law concept. It means a false statement of fact made by one party to another party, which has the effect of inducing that party into the contract. For example, under certain circumstances, false statements or promises made by a seller of goods regarding the quality or nature of the product that the seller has may constitute misrepresentation.

Alright, it's a bit dramatic and ooooh so serious sounding. But, it remains that when you say you are one way, look a way, or have a certain marital status you are supposed to telling the whole truth.  Otherwise, you are committing a MISREPRESENTATION of yourself. Who could trust you from that point forward?

On your personal appearance:

Perhaps that's the test. If you meet someone you convinced that you were a 180 pound Adonis who has never been married or recently widowed; and upon seeing you for the first time realized you have a Dunlap muffin top belly, memories of hair on the sides of your temples and are still wearing a wedding ring - yet they don't head for the door - you may have met your match!

That's not me; don't even think of trying that. I'll head for the door, let you know you've wasted my time, were deceitful and need to get a grasp on reality. Of course we all share the best photos of ourselves. But, how about a photo of yourself from THIS year - ideally in the past six months?

I went out with a man once. Never knew he wore a toupee. I was young, naive and thought it was fun to go out with my dentist - wrong on so many levels.  We had a wonderful dinner at a local upscale steak house and went back to his place.  We were visiting in his living room when the glue started to drip by the side of his ear.  He must have been nervous as I was asking him about his family - or perhaps when I was telling him about mine.  Noticing his "discomfort" and sweating, I simply asked him, "why?" He had beautiful eyes, gorgeous smile (of course) and didn't need fake hair.  We didn't date again, primarily because I couldn't get over the smell of mouthwash whenever I was near him. But, he did change something after that date; he dumped the toupee and shaved his head. He looked so much better and he held himself straighter with more confidence. I feel that I helped in some small way. We are still friends.

On marital status:

Do you know the definition of widowed? How about divorced vs. separated? The phrase, "it's complicated" does not substitute. Call your status for what it is; you will save everyone’s time. We won't like you more after meeting you when you finally reveal that you are only separated and there is a nasty custody battle. Do you think the memory of the person we thought we'd be meeting will cloud our judgment so much that we'll look deep into your eyes and say it doesn't matter and that we understand, you poor baby...? Tell me you don't believe this. Stop reading, I can't help you.

• Widowed: You were married, the person died. End of definition.
• Separated: You just don't live together, perhaps you still have conjugal visits, perhaps you own a business together, perhaps you are just separated, but the other partner doesn't know it.
• Legally Separated: A bit clearer, lawyers involved, nothing settled, still messy.
• Divorced: Marriage is dissolved, but you may still have a lot of baggage, financial ties, shared parenting weekends, holidays with the ex-in-laws, restraining orders. How clean is a divorce? Only you would know about your own. You owe a chunk of the true story to someone you are considering dating so there are no false hopes, unspoken situations or to put their mind at ease because you actually managed an amicable divorce years ago, have no ties, are on friendly terms, no children, no ex-in-laws, no shared properly, no involvement with taxes, etc.

You can't be divorced and widowed from the same person. If you are divorced and they die, then the person you WERE married to died. Just that simple.

On demographics:

Where do you live? You don't have to give the address. If you are working for the FBI or in Witness Protection, you may have an excuse. Then, too, you shouldn't be looking for love through conventional means because you are destined for dishonesty. If you are embarrassed about where you live, you can either get over it and get comfortable with your situation, or come up with a plan to change it. Share the plan - at least you have a plan and are not lying.

I thank my friend, Kay Hunter for inviting me to contribute to her blog.

 

 

Are you really ready to date? Are you sure?

by Janae St. John

I realize as we get older and find ourselves back out there dating that we will have some baggage.  Unless you are Sleeping Beauty, you aren't single because you are totally innocent, without a history, some bumps, possibly quirks and emotional bruises.  But, make sure you ready to date? Dating involves a bit of trust, lightness and MANNERS.

A very odd date happened to me recently.  I understand through well-meaning friend’s attempts at setting us up on blind dates and online dating services, we are all a bit cautious – as we should be.  Although, when your ice-breaker questions include - no joke:

"May I see your driver's license?"
(We were in a public restaurant - he asked this to confirm my age!)

"What is your credit score?"

"How do you look with no makeup in the morning?"

These were just the openers. I was so distracted looking for the door throughout the rest of the paranoid inquisition that I can't remember the rest of the inappropriate questions that he asked.  Of course, we all want to know the other person’s sorted details, but it seems some of that information needs to come out as when a relationship evolves.  Perhaps it's my own fault for taking care of meself, having a current sense of style and good oral care that would make someone wonder how old I am and if I'm "all real."  I'm not sure.

From a female perspective, these are questions I would welcome:

• "When you have NO schedule and it's beautiful outside, what's the first thing you want to do?"  Ash yourself, are they actually someone who would notice a beautiful day, or want to sit in and watch a game.
• "What about your career is your favorite aspect? Ask yourself, do they hate what they do, are they passionate, are they a workaholic, and does their answer involve something of integrity.
• "What three books best sum up your reading tastes?" "Why?" Ask yourself, do they like to read, if yes, are the books something they've read recently.

These are good questions because they give more you information than the questions present.

There is no wrong answer, but their answers will help you see if there is a match. If you are a sports TV nut, then someone who would prefer to catch a game, even when it's sunny out may be a good match for you. If you don't enjoy reading, someone who says they only read business books or magazines may be a good match for you.  It all depends on where you are heading, where you want to land.

How Should You Dress for a 1st Date?

How Should You Dress for a 1^st Date?

Talk about making a 1^st impression, this is the king of occasions.  The other person is evaluating everything and diagnosing if that sought after “chemistry” exists.  The first factor being evaluated is - how you look.  After the 1^st impression, their personality, ability to connect with you, compatibility, and similar goals and values will all come into play.

Let’s start with the easiest part of the first impression, how you dress.  This is the easiest because it can be adjusted and modified so instantly.  This is much easier to adjust than a boring personality!  Let me just say, “I have seen it all!”  From men showing up in cut-off blue jean shorts with a white “wife beater” tank top for his shirt, to men so buttoned up they appeared stiff as a board.  Ladies commit the same crimes, usually associated with showing off way too much “of their goods”, or not playing fair and not letting the man see a glimpse of what they look like. 

First date attire should be selected based on where you are going and what you are doing.  If you are simply meeting for coffee, jeans and a nice shirt/top are just fine.  If you are going to dinner, this is the time to step up your selection and dress up more to show you value the time he/she is investing.  Second, select styles that flatter your particular body type.  Second, the clothing should show off your physique/figure without looking desperate (i.e. even if you have the best biceps in town, no tank tops!).  Third, your ensemble should reflect your personal style.  If you are very traditional, that should come across.  If you are very creative, this is not the time to try to look more conservative.  We want to make it easy for the other person to get to know us, and our clothing choices can assist with this goal! Finally, be well groomed.  This may be your only chance to make that 1^st impression.  I met a guy who said, “Oh if I knew I was meeting you I would have had my hair cut, it is way over do”.  Well, he knew he was meeting me (he did set up the date), and I couldn’t be attracted to the 80’s look.

You are ready! Take a deep breathe, arrive on time, and enjoy the journey!